i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
they call him Oral-B. enough said
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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