she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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