he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
