For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm getting married
To pizza
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
