Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
