he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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