We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
It was confusing and full of hummus
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
