first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
