the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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