i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
