He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I should be sponsored by Trojan
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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