im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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