Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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