And the cops told us we were all naked.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
