I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
