Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
