Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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