Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
