Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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