I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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