We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Randomize
