I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
