Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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