I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
