dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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