...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
is that a dick in a sweater?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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