you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize