we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
