Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
