I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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