we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
