ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
