I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
