I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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