you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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