We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
