Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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