hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
