Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
