so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Randomize
