just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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