But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
