how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
