you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Princesses don't give blow jobs
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
