..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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