Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
