Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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