Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
