I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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