I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
