Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
