Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I deserve this hangover.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I want a musical about memes.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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