I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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