The brown eye won't let me do that either.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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