"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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