Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
